There was an obscurely labeled button on the soda machine on my floor. Turns out, it was this:

I’ve had malta before. If you haven’t, and were able to read the “non alcoholic” on the can and wondered why, here are the facts:

Ingredients: Water, malted barley, sugar, hops, carbon dioxide.

But here’s all you need to know: it tastes like carbonated Raisin Bran. And it’s gross. I’m sure you could get used to it. But as I bring the can toward my face and that bran aroma hits my nostrils, I have to wonder why I’m still drinking it. It has 3g of protein, so I suppose there’s some benefit. I’m going to leave this can unfinished, and won’t be surprised when I wake up in the morning wanting some Raisin Bran. At least that one will have some fiber. Oh, and raisins.

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