I was tracking a package on Fedex.com the other day and saw this tantalizing promotion:
I thought- ooooh, I’ll bet we get to track packages via GPS-equipped trucks. I’ll know where my package is within 6 feet at all times!
So I went and played their little video of the upcoming changes. I couldn’t believe what it was. Here are the new changes:
A progress bar, because you’re an idiot!
Hurray, their tracking information now includes… tracking information! Now available in 12 hour or 24 hour format! Finally!
It’s nothing at all like the old one! Right?
Revolutionary! But wait, there’s more!
Introducing: email updates!
Just like before!
FedEx says, “Check back in January to see how the new FedEx Tracking will exceed your expectations.”
FedEx, you got my hopes up then totally disappointed. Don’t promote minor and mostly insignificant updates to your website. Just do it. We don’t need a “sneak peek.” Let me know when you’re ready to track my delivery truck with GPS.
PS. Where’s my package?
PPS. Their theme is a crystal ball. Is that really how they want us to think of their tracking service? As accurate as a carnival gypsy? See for yourself.
UPDATE: I just got a comment on this post from “Mark” at FedEx. Here it is:
Way too much time on your hands my brother. I like the progress bar, as its helpful when I am viewing 100′s of numbers. AND there is zero question they do a great job of tracking, unlike say D-H-L!
I agree – FedEx does a great job of tracking. I just thought it was silly to create such a fuss over a little change to the website. And apparently FedEx really hates DHL.
Tags: 7 Comments
Derek, you are so smart. And so RIGHT.
(Isn’t that what you told me to put in the comments?)
Way too much time on your hands my brother. I like the progress bar, as its helpful when I am viewing 100′s of numbers. AND there is zero question they do a great job of tracking, unlike say D-H-L!
Can someone explain the tracking bar to me? Please? Thanks.
My name is Mark and I am a non-partisan blog surfer who chanced upon this delightful blog post criticizing the FedEx tracking system. I also noticed that one commenter – also a Mark, what a small world! – pointed out that DHL does a poor job of tracking.
As a completely uninterested third party, I am glad to see a single blog post criticize both FedEx and DHL. That’s why I rely exclusively on UPS, particularly during the holiday delivery rush. I always know I can rely on UPS. And nothing brings a smile to my face more than seeing those folks in brown uniforms show up on my doorstep.
So to the author of this blog, do what I, a non-corporation-affiliated-rand0m-blog-reader did and switch to UPS.
Too much parcel pickup preference pandemonium for me.
Haha, I just like UPS’s scatological slogan:
“What Can Brown Do For You?”
I agree with Nick.